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Est. 1997 - Proprietors Anthony, Barnett & Massey
#GNU Terry Pratchett

Discworld Monthly - Issue 173 - September 2011

Table of Contents:

1. Editorial
2. News
3. Readers' Letters
4. DiscTrivia
5. Review: Wadfest 2011 - The Future and Beyond
6. Competition
7. A Thronging of Thaumaturgists.
8. The End


1. Editorial

Welcome to issue 173. Wadfest is over now until 2013. I've just got back from the excellent Wadfest 2011. I went with my two elder children (who both also had a great time) and you can read all about it later in this issue.

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Unfortunately both Bill and Richard are off in various parts of the world this month, abandoning DWM for mere holiday pleasures - leaving me behind to work on this issue on my own, sob, which means this issue might be slightly less polished than usual - they tend to proof read for me and stop me rambling on and on and on. I'm sure WB would have probably just suggested I delete this entire paragraph.

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On Saturday 3rd September I am hoping to visit Eclectic Games in Reading for the launch of the new Ankh Morpork Discworld board game. If you can't get there you can always enter our competition this month for a chance to win a copy of your own. We hope to be able to write a review for next month's issue.

For more information about the launch visit: http://www.eclecticgames.co.uk/

For more information about the game visit: http://www.treefroggames.com/ankh-morpork

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If you are a South African Discworld fan you need to look at our Discworld dates section where you will find out about the first SADWCON. Which takes place on the 10th September this year. That's right, only about 2 weeks away.

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Last month I promised a review of Snuff, the new Discworld novel due out in October. Due to time constraints I've not had time to write the review this month so look out for it next month instead.

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Don't forget, if you visit a play or a talk and would like to let the world know about it, please feel free to email your review to and we will consider it for publication.

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If you have written an article that you think we might want to include in the newsletter please feel free to email me at the address below. We will of course give credit for anything we use.

--

Jason Anthony (Editor)
William Barnett (Absent Friend)
Richard Massey (Distant Mate)


2. News

Terry has been at Paignton Zoo recently filming a new documentary about Orangutans. This will be Terry's third collaboration with director Charlie Russell who previously filmed Terry Pratchett: Living with Alzheimer's and Terry Pratchett: Choosing to Die. One wonders if this one will be called Terry Pratchett: Hugging the Librarian...

* * * * *

After successfully getting all the founding they needed for Troll Bridge - Snowgum Films have started filming in New Zealand.

You can see a picture of Cohen on his horse at: http://pic.twitter.com/IFVEKdL

And you can see some of their amazing location photos at: http://t.co/8ahXbwV

Just today SnowGum put up an album of photos taken from the first day of shooting in New Zealand at: http://discworldmonthly.co.uk?redir=SNOW173

For those that have donated generously and are expecting badges etc please be patient. All items will be sent out once the film is complete. Daniel Knight is hoping to have the film completely shot by late January and will then move into post-production after that. Hopefully 2012 will be there year of Troll Bridge.

* * * * *

BBC News Northern Ireland recently ran a short news segment on the upcoming Guards! Guards! game at: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-14390034

More information about the game and the ability to pre-order can be found at: http://www.guardsguards.com/

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The first edition of News Of The Disk (a newsletter about the 2012 Discworld Convention) has been released. You can read all about it at: http://www.dwcon.org/media/uploads/files/News_of_the_Disc_1.pdf

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Terry was recently interviewed by NPR books about Death and assisted death. You can read about it and listen to the interview at: http://discworldmonthly.co.uk?redir=NPR173

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Waterstone's Salisbury will be running a promotion called "39 Days of Discworld" giveaway!

From the 5th September, the first person to pre-order Snuff either in store or on the phone will win a free copy of that days book! So, on the 5th, the book of the day is Discworld 1 The Colour of Magic and so on each day until Snuff comes out on the 13th October!

Each book comes in paperback with the original artwork on the cover.

If it is a phone order that is first of the day, the free book will be sent with their copy of Snuff.

Only one free book per person!

http://www.waterstones.com/waterstonesweb/

* * * * *

At the Edinburgh International Book Festival renowned author A S Byatt told audiences why she loves reading Terry Pratchett and has declared Terry her hero, for having "caused more people to read books than anyone else - because he tells them something they want to know, that they can laugh at, and because he writes really good English".

http://discworldmonthly.co.uk?redir=BYATT173

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Terry was recently interviewed for the School Library Journal in an article named "To Sir, With Love".

http://discworldmonthly.co.uk?redir=SCHOOL173

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On page 8 of the Children's Bookseller insert (dated 19-26 August) there are tables of book sales so far this year, with I shall wear Midnight in the Top 20 Children's and Young Adult fiction titles at no. 12. Doing well considering it was only published in paperback in June, with 57,947 copies sold, quite a lot at discount prices.

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Four rescued kittens at the Secret World Wildlife Rescue have been named after Discworld Characters - the kittens who were discovered abandoned in long grass near Greinton have been named Lily Weatherwax, Cheery Littlebottom, Adora Belle Dearheart and Lord Haverlock Vetinari.

http://discworldmonthly.co.uk?redir=KITTENS173

* * * * *

The latest issue of SFX magazine (the one with Doctor Who on the cover) features casting ideas for the new Watch Series. Their Wishlist includes Alan Rickman as Vetinari, Tony Robinson as Nobby and Philip Glenister as Vimes. Strangely though they think that Ron Perlman (Hellboy) should play Colon...

For more information about SFX visit http://www.sfx.co.uk

* * * * *

Discworld Dates...

This section will contain events that you need to keep in your diary. Entries will remain until they go out of date. New entries will include the word [New] next to them. If this section gets too large we will start pruning entries.

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[UK and AU, Updated] The Broken Drummers and The Drummers Downunder are groups of fans that meet up monthly in the UK and Australia.

Unless otherwise stated the Broken Drummers meet on the first Monday of each month.

The Drummers Downunder (Perth) will be meeting from 6pm at The Vic Hotel, 226 Hay St, Subiaco, Australia. You can contact the organiser Daniel Hatton on

The Drummers Downunder (Sydney) meet at Maloneys Hotel on the corner of Pitt and Goulburn Streets (across the road from World Square), Sydney, Australia from 6.30pm. For more information contact Sue (AKA Granny Weatherwax) on

The Broken Drummers meet at The Monkey Puzzle, Paddington, London, W2 1JQ, England at 7pm.

The Drummers are always happy to welcome new visitors.

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[SA, New] The very first South African Discworld Event will take place on September 10, 2011 at The Bistro Garden Restaurant in Milnerton, Cape Town

If you're an SA fan who loves Pratchett, you want to be at this. Besides the screening of Going Postal, the reading from the unpublished Snuff, free gifts and amazing Discworld collectors items, this event offers the opportunity to be on the committee to organize our first ever SA Discworld Convention, which, by all appearances, Sir Terry will be at, or at least really wants to.

Bring an appetite to eat food inspired by CMOT Dibbler and Nanny Ogg, an outfit for the costume parade, all your Discworld knowledge for the quiz and spending money for books and merchandise.

For more details visit the Facebook Event: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=195098337208793 the website: http://sadwcon.org/ Or follow @sadwcon the official Twitter profile: http://twitter.com/#!/sadwcon

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[AU] For fans in Adelaide, The City of Small Gods Terry Pratchett Fan Club meets on the last Thursday of the month from 6.30pm at the Ed Castle, 233 Currie St. Details, discussions and organisation of extra events (such as play outings) are held on our email mailing list, so please sign up at https://groups.google.com/group/adelaide-discworld-fans

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[DE] The German Discworld Convention 2011 will take place from 30th September to 3rd October 2011. Assassins will roam the halls of Castle Bilstein but they promise not to harm visitors of the 3rd German Discworld Convention during that time (except when contracted).

Registered visitors are now able to pre-order the Limited Edition 2011 Discworld Convention Plushies for pickup at the Con.

For more information visit: http://www.scheibenwelt-convention.de

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[AU, New] Monstrous Regiment will be performed by Brisbane Arts Theatre starting from 8th October.

Performances will be on:

BOOKINGS: 3369 2344 / BOOK ONLINE: www.artstheatre.com.au

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[IE] Irish Discworld Convention 2011 (IDWCon11)

The second biennial Irish Discworld Convention will take place, once again, in the Falls Hotel, Ennistymon. Taking place from the 4th-7th of November 2011. For those of you who missed it the first time, and if you don't mind us saying so, it was a bit of a bit! If you would like to be there this time membership is now open and information on all sorts is available at our website! Special Guest Professor Sir Terry Pratchett has confirmed his attendance! Now it's your turn!

http://www.idwcon.org

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[CA, New] Walterdale Playhouse will be performing Wyrd Sisters in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada from 30th November to 10th December 2011.

Tickets cost: 12.00 CAD to 16.00 CAD (depending on event date, time, and ticket type)

http://walterdaleplayhouse.com/?page_id=727

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[UK] The Eighnnnnnn International Discworld Convention will take place from the 24th to 27th August 2012 at the Hilton Metropole in Birmingham.

For more information visit: http://www.dwcon.org

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Small Ads...

Please note, DWM has no way of checking the veracity or validity of any of the items in our small ads section. As always, exercise caution when giving out your details over the Internet. We *strongly* recommend parental supervision for younger readers who
follow up any of these contacts.

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Ian Jarrett writes: Hullo, it's me in Oxfam again.

We've just managed to get rid of the small mountain of Pratchett books we got last time, just in time for some more.

I've got Monstrous Regiment and Night Watch. Both hard back, both 1st edition, both 1st printing and both don't look like they've been opened at all. 6.99 GBP each, plus p&p.

If interested, please email me with Oxfam in the heading.

* * * * *

Random writes: I live in the U.S. and I'm looking to start a Discworld stamp collection, but the retail prices, not to mention international shipping and handling rates are out of my budget. If anyone has any extra stamps they can live without, mail me. I can't pay a lot, but I'll do what I can. As I said before, I'll looking to start up a collection so even a bunch of common or damaged stamps are OK.


3. Readers' Letters

If you have any letters or comments, please email them to

We assume any correspondence is eligible for use in the newsletter unless otherwise stated, including the sender's email address. We may also edit your letters while waiting for a proof reader to come along.

It is vitally important that you don't pass off other people's work as your own. If you use information from other resources please let us know so we can give proper credit.

* * * * *

* From: "Allen Salzberg"

The species leatherback sea turtle (long extinct) that someone in New Zealand named after Terry is going to be history. I know the main turtle palentologist who is working on all leatherback fossils and he said about five of them, including the one that will be dropped and either put together as one group or merged into another. The paper, it might be a monograph, is being written, and so there is plenty of time until this is official. (He has to find a journal that will publish it, peer review it, then the scientific community has to add their two cents. etc. Just thought Terry should know.

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* From: "Gerhard Uibel"

It was many years ago via a contribution in DWM that I came into contact with my friend Loretta who lives in the U.S., and we have been exchanging emails concerning all aspects of life ever since - I do not doubt that there are many more people like us and I hold DWM responsible for the development of friendships between those who would otherwise probably never have met.

DWM replies: Thanks, glad we could be of assistance.

* * * * *

* From: "Joseph A. Dellinger"

[Back in issue 154 Joseph wrote to us about a new asteroid which had been allocated the name of Pratchett - Ed]

I finally got some images of asteroid Pratchett online at: http://purplemartinstory.org/id39.html

The first page shows Vesta, the brightest asteroid. Then the next two pages show Pratchett.

Meant to do this last year but 2010 was just crazy. Did manage to image the asteroid while it was still bright last September but only just got around to putting web pages together in the last month.

Maybe I should see about honoring some of my favorite Discworld characters with asteroids too. Would be a harder sell to get past the committee on small body nomenclature, but might be worth at least a try. The rules for asteroid discovery were changed last October so the amateur asteroid discoverers are pretty much out of business now. It was fun while it lasted. We do get to keep the ones we discovered before October 2010. I really was getting too busy to keep the hobby up, anyway...

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* From: "Loretta H."

Found this book in Daedalus Book Catalog. The Silent Traveller In London by Chiang Yee. First published in 1938, this book by Chiang Yee is original in more ways than one. It was one of the first available titles written in English by a Chinese author, and it also reversed the expected conventions of travel writing, as the 'exotic' subject is London and its people as observed by a foreigner. Yee, immersing himself in the strange rituals of London life, set out to learn about Londoners, their habits, and their pleasures (he was fascinated by such social conventions as afternoon tea and discussing the weather). As he tried to make sense of British society his affinity with the place and its people grew, and the book contains sketches in the author's own hand. Has Terry actually read everything?

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* From: "L.A."

I'm Leia Tortoise, from the Vade-Mecum (http://www.vademecum-dm.com/), French fans website about Discworld and Terry Pratchett - you may know our webmaster BaronBreton. I was at the last Spring Fling in Wincanton with another member of our team, Anilori, and unfortunately we missed you, but anyway we got links to share for the Monthly newsletter, and we would like to add some precisions about the issue 170:

We have translated in French the Spring Fling Review of Elaine Boot: http://www.vademecum-dm.com/pratchett.php?n=divers&iview=1307052000

Erratum about this paragraph: "On Saturday morning we had a lovely breakfast and met the other two guests staying at the B&B who were from France; they where interviewing people such as Waddy to start up a web site and maybe French Discworld convention. They were very nice girls whose names I have forgotten. We then made our way to the Emporium where there was already a queue of eager customers waiting for the shop to open."

In fact the web site already exist since long (http://www.vademecum-dm.com/) and under the direction of BaronBreton, we've indeed interviewed some people but not Waddy (we just had some words with him), and the French Discworld convention is nothing but an old dream we just remained by the exciting Wincanton atmosphere, but please don't think we're actually working on it!

I have also written a review, that I made bilingual, the English version is there: http://www.vademecum-dm.com/pratchett.php?n=divers&iview=1305669600

Our transcription of the Presentation of the "Ankh-Morpork" board game by Martin Wallace and Bernard Pearson: http://www.vademecum-dm.com/pratchett.php?n=divers&iview=1303855200

Our encounter with the band "Lavington Bound": http://www.vademecum-dm.com/pratchett.php?n=divers&iview=1303941600

Our encounter with Pat Harkin: http://www.vademecum-dm.com/pratchett.php?n=divers&iview=1304287200

The signings in our "Dedicacium": http://www.vademecum-dm.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=22169#p22169

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* From: Janardhan R

We were visiting the quaint little medieval town of Rapperswil on the eastern shore of Lake Zurich in Switzerland last week when I came across something that can only be described as Bloody Stupid Johnson's legacy in Roundworld. In front of the Rapperswil Castle stands a white wooden bench which was in all probability designed for someone at least 14 feet tall. It is massive and there seems to be no explanation why it exists. No doubt someone got the scale as muddled up. Wonder is Bergolt Stutley has a roundworld cousin.

http://discworldmonthly.co.uk/gfx/bigbench.jpg

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* From: "Edwards, Tony"

Terry or Neil's reading habits are showing up again:

Good Omens - "Agnes Nutter was a witch in the 17th century and the only truly accurate prophet to have ever lived"

On the BBC web site today is an article mentioning her: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-14490790

The witch trial that made legal history

'Alice Nutter, from a respectable land-owning family, her sister-in-law, nephew and friend were among those arrested.

At that time they were a strong Catholic family. I think [Nowell] thought he would curry favour with the King and the powers that be if he was catching Catholics as well," says Colin Nutter, a descendant of Alice, who still lives in Pendle."

* * * * *

* From: "John Prigent"

This morning, on the way home from shopping, I found myself behind a car with registration that ended in OOK. The driver did not appear to be a red-haired simian with inordinately long arms, but it made me wonder...


4. DiscTrivia

This month I'll take three random quotes from the Discworld series and ask you to name which book they came from.

Q1.
A woman always has half an onion left over, no matter what the size of the onion, the dish, or the woman.
Q2.
"Corporal Nobbs has got some papers to prove he's a human being." "Forged?" "I don't think so."
Q3.
Cohen had heard or fighting fair, and had long ago decided he wanted no part of it.

The answers as usual can be found at the end of this issue.


5. Review: Wadfest 2011 - The Future and Beyond

Reviewed by Jason Anthony.

Unfortunately due to issues beyond my control I wasn't able to leave for Wadfest until early Friday afternoon so missed the opening ceremony and the initialization of the Wadfest virgins. Nothing nasty was done to them but they were given a blindfolded challenge that most of us struggle with sighted.

After travelling for around four hours we arrived at the familiar surroundings of Trentfield Farm, the home of Wadfest since 2005, and parked up. We headed over to reception to apologise for forgetting to bring our tickets. We were quickly allocated our identity badges and given our welcome packs.

I came to Wadfest with my two eldest children and sent them off to get some dinner from the catering van while I attempted to erect the tent. Luckily Loz and Justin came over and lent a hand and we soon had our accommodation setup for the weekend.

I got something to eat and then spent a while walking around the site and chatting with lots of wonderful people. Soon it was time for the cocktail party "Frilliways, The Burlesque At The End of the Universe" where the now traditional Ms Wadfest and Prince Wadfest where selected from the many wonderful costumes on display. We didn't stay too long as my seven year old wanted to go to bed.

Saturday started bright and warm. We had some breakfast and then headed over to the main marquee. Pete Chapman was selling Wadfest Goodie bags which each contained a random selection of art work / stamps / books etc. One of the bags contained a US proof copy of Snuff that I donated. Pete had 100 bags to sell at 10 GBP each and managed to sell them all raising 1000 GBP for Wadfest's preferred charity Cancer Research UK.

The Wadfest committee decided to break from the traditional Luggage Wars this year and instead decided to have rocket races. Each team was given too large pieces of cardboard and told to create their spaceship master-pieces. The only rules were that it had to be suitable for two children and that said children need to be able to see where they were going when carrying the spaceship. With such relaxed rules we ended up with each spaceship looking quite different. Once construction was complete the spacecraft were taken outside to be painted in many garish colours. One the painting was complete the spacecraft were stored for the races on the Sunday.

The murder mystery took place all day and there were various people who were obviously suspects and some others that were less obvious. Justin, for example, was wearing a unique Wadfest T-shirt that said Wadfest 2001 - 2021. If you noticed this you would realise that he was actually here from Wadfest 2021 not Wadfest 2011. Amazingly a lot of people spotted this!

In the afternoon there was a Zombies competition and a game of live Smack the Pingu. We missed the game because we need to go and get supplies from nearby Retford which is a shame because it is always fun to boo the penguins.

In the evening the murder mystery was explained by Rob Lupine and a prize was awarded to the person that got the correct killer and whose reason most closely matched the written solution. Awards were also given out for the maskerade costume. After the awards there was a short break while the stage was prepared for the X Facturum (talent contest). Once again I was asked if I would lend my services as one of the three judges. Before the competition started I was told by a young boy not to be nasty to his nana! After a slight error in judgement at Wadfest a couple of years ago I seem to have picked up a reputation! Thankfully we were judging on entertainment value rather than raw talent and there was plenty of entertainment on display. At the end of the show the judges were sent off to deliberate (that means decide Waddy). After much discussion we selected STC as our winners - their Discworld based variation of The Lion Sleeps tonight complete with audience participation and a remote controlled spinning robot (trust me you had to be there!) was pure entertainment.

After the talent show there as a short break for people to prepare themselves for the light parade. People had made various floats covered in LEDS and glowsticks to carry around the campsite. One had a display of cockroaches and millipedes lit up with some Christmas fairy lights and another had a selection of edible penguins (boo the penguins etc.). Many people had lightsabres which looked very impressive when spun round in the dark - even if it did mess with your night vision.

After the light parade Waddy and Rob Lupine recreated a campfire scene on the stage and told stories about how Wadfest started. My children we very tired by this time so we went to bed early and sadly missed Waddy accidentally setting fire to the stage!

It rained through the night and so we woke to a rather wet Sunday morning. After breakfast the sun came out and soon started drying out the tents. As soon as ours was dry we started packing up. We still had a busy day ahead of us and a four hour drive to look forward too so getting packed now meant we could get away quickly at the end.

The first event of the day was the rocket racing. The spacecraft that the children painted on Saturday were taken down to the games field where various races were run until a winner was announced. The organisers then let the adults have a go and they managed to destroy all the rockets.

We grabbed a quick lunch before the charity auction. I took up my traditional role of the keeper of prices with Pete Chapman (charity organiser) taking care of absentia bids. Pat Harkin took up his role as auctioneer and Kirstie, Hannah and AJ looked great in their Star Trek uniforms as the auctionettes. Thanks to the wonderful generosity of both the people that donated items and the people bidding we managed to raise well over 3,000 GBP for Cancer Research UK. We worked out that in the last eight years the auction team at Wadfest had raised nearly 28,000 GBP which is a wonderful amount.

The closing ceremony took place next and it was confirmed that due to the Olympics that there would be no Wadfest in 2012. Wadfest will return in 2013 and is provisionally entitled After the Apocalypse (so expect some zombies in 2013).

The closing ceremony gave us time to organise the winning lots before the happy bidders came to pay and claim their winnings.

With the auction duties complete there was nothing left to do but head home. So we did the next best thing and procrastinated for a while chatting with friends until we really did have to go. We said our goodbyes and started our journey back down south.

My children sleep for much of the journey. Leaving me the only person awake in the car! We all had a great time and can't wait until we do it all again at Wadfest 2013.

Loz Wadfest's official photographer has uploaded nearly 700 pictures to the Wadfest Picasa Web Album at: https://picasaweb.google.com/Wadfest/Wadfest2011

Key and eye on the Wadfest message boards at http://www.citywatch.info/phpBB2/index.php and the main Wadfest site http://www.wadfest.co.uk for updates and news.

Since returning I have discovered that a lot of people who went to Wadfest have decided to have an unofficial Notfest camping weekend next year. You can find details at: https://www.facebook.com/NotFest


6. Competition.

Last month the lovely people at PJSMPrints.com gave us three wonderful prizes to give away. The three winners will each get a signed 2012 Discworld Calendar and a PJSM Goodie Bag.

In order to be one of the three winners you needed to answer the following questions:

Q1.
What price in GBP will PJSMPrints be selling the 2012 Calendar for (excluding P&P)?
Q2.
One of the new mouse mats features the following words "Lord Vetinari ________". What is the missing word?

The answers we were looking for were 15 GBP and Rules.

The three randomly selected winners are: Kevin Wells of Kent, Fiona Marshall of Suffolk and Philip Clark of Leicester. I'll get your postal details off to PJSM Prints soon so they can get your prizes out.

For more information about PJSMPrints range of Discworld Products visit: http://www.pjsmprints.com/books/index.html

* * * * *

This month we have been promised three copies of the new Ankh-Morpork game to give away courtesy of Esdevium Games (http://www.esdeviumgames.com/).

In order to be in with a chance of winning a copy of the game you need to answer the following questions:

Q1.
In the game the map is split into 12 sections which number corresponds to Seven Sleepers?

Send your answer along with your postal address to by 21st September 2011. Your address will only be used if you are one of the winners and only for sending out your prize - once prizes are sent out all address information will be destroyed. Entries received after the closing date or sent to any other address will be ignored. No more than one entry per person will be accepted. Answers to the questions must not be posted to any websites before the competition ends. The judges' decision is final.


7. A Thronging of Thaumaturgists.

By Nanny Oggy

While we have seen the wizards in adaptations to screen thus far made, and the wizards in question looked imposing and well, I suppose 'wizard-like' would be apt here. However, if any of them are going to be recurring roles, which since the wizards show up in MOST of the books, that is going to be the case, it's as well to cast strong members in order to have the right person for the job so to speak.

Tim Curry in my opinion was perfect as the scheming Trymon in TCOM...and James Cosmo was a perfect Gander Weatherwax (in fact having him play Mustrum Ridcully would have been good but.... )

Joss Ackland who played Mustrum in Hogfather was a quality choice, as was Timothy West in Going Postal, I am hoping that if they do a live action version of say Soul Music or Unseen Academicals, that we get the full faculty in force with appropriate people playing the parts, and that being the case, put your Hollywood director hats on and lets get down to business.

(NOTE: As with the Patrician, another controversial figure I am NOT featuring Rincewind here - he will have his own article devoted solely to him, and the Librarian will be in with the 'Beasts and Magical creature characters' edition. While he WAS a man once, everyone knows and loves him as the ginger mon... erm Orang Utan!!)

Naturally as leader of the UU, the first person up should be Mustrum Ridcully, the Archchancellor. Also known as Ridcully the Brown he became a seventh level mage at the incredibly young age of 27. He then quit the University to look after his family's estates. He is above everything then, loyal.

He had not been back to the UU in 40 years when he was made Archchancellor, it seems this came about after the faculty wanted a bit of a breather after several years of the post being filled (and emptied again) in rather quick succession, it was assumed since Ridcully was from the country, that someone so close to nature might fit the bill of being quiet and easy to manipulate... how wrong could they get!

He has a HUGE personality, loves his outdoor pursuits, drinking all night (and day) eating greasy food (well ANY food) and making Wow-Wow Sauce. However, he MUST be right. He's intelligent, but when he has his mind set on a matter it's better to go along with him or at least try to make him THINK that what you are saying was one of HIS ideas (Ponder Stibbons is particularly good at this!) in the first place. People have been known to roll eyes behind his back but cross him and you'll know and regret it!

We need someone that can carry off wearing a garish blue and red jogging suit with his fishing fly bedecked wizard's hat tied on AND can perform the Rite of AshkEnte and have Susan Sto-Helit turn up and just to offer her breakfast without batting an eyelid like a favourite Uncle (I would have said Grandfather, but um... when you consider who Susan's grandfather is...)

So... my choices are Robbie Coltrane, Brain Blessed, and Richard Griffiths, Timothy West and Joss Ackland.

The Dean - Now we all know that he's incorrigible scoundrel and went off to be Archchancellor at another University... we'll gloss over that for now tho! I'm thinking of a human version of what he was like in the cartoon of Soul Music... to that end I think someone like Anthony Stewart Head with some padding would do, or Bill Bailey, or Jim Broadbent.

Next up is the Bursar. Needs to be slightly mad and needing of Dried Frog Pills. I only have two suggestions for this - Robbie Corbett or Bill Bailey (in a sort of 'Black Books' role), tho Rowan Atkinson could probably do this part.

Ponder Stibbons by the time we get to Thud! is filling just about every position in the UU short of Archchancellor and those still held by living members of the faculty. He is the 'creator' of HEX and is one of the few people willing to stand up to (indeed the rest of the faculty actively encourage this) Ridcully! He's the accountant, admissions officer, exam officer, traditions whatever and a fair few things in between. I've always seen him as somewhat gangly in an 'eternal student' (you know the type that eats Baked Beans cold out of a tin and cold pizza from the night before... IF they eat!!) type. I'm picturing the likes of everyone from Paul Bettany (I know I said I wasn't talking about Rincewind here but he'd do well for running away quickly too LOL), and Colin Morgan (Merlin in the BBC series of the same name). Other suggestions would be Hugh Laurie or Tim McInnery (in a revival of their George/Lord Percy renditions in Blackadder) but could see either of them playing Hix too.

The only other that I really see that would have to be a character would be Dr Hix, the Professor of Post Mortem Communications. I have had suggestions of Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy) but I rather favour his 'father' (at least in the Harry Potter films) Jason Issacs. Someone suggested Matt Smith (Dr. Who) although I'd suggest the previous doctor, David Tennant would also do the role justice. I don't see Hix as evil but more someone who has fun with the 'Skull ring remember'!! using his position for all it's worth and not letting anyone forget that he's the one that deals with 'dead things'!! Could as mentioned also see Hugh Laurie (in more of the House rather than Blackadder personification) and Tim McInnery (doing Capt. Darling not Lord Percy!) What's the point of having a position and not flaunting it eh?? That's like being a witch and not having a broomstick, cat and pointy hat... I mean ok Magrat, Agnes and Esme don't have a cat but two out of three ain't bad and they can share Greebo when he let's them... little cute kitten that he is!

Other 'honourable mentions' of professors that turn up regularly are: Chair of Infinite Studies, Recent Runes and the Senior Wrangler. I've always thought of these as portly gentlemen... the sort that would happily 'squeeze in' another plum pudding, or Banananana Surprise or three after a twelve course banquet! I don't have anyone in particular in mind at the moment but suggestions would be excellent thank you!

Random other members of the faculty could be eagerly filled by those actors out there that would do ANYTHING for a cameo in a Discworld production as they are die hard TP fans!

Soooo... here's the votes:

MUSTRUM RIDCULLY:

DEAN

BURSAR

PONDER STIBBONS

DR HIX

Next up will be 'A Coronation of Kings (and Queens, Rulers... well you get the idea, alternative title is Nobs and Nobility a la Blackadder!!) hope you will continue to email me your votes, ideas and suggestions.

Enjoy what's left of the summer, it seems to have deserted us in Lancre. Nanny Oggy and Greebos 1 and 2


8. The End

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